"As For Me and My House..."

A few weeks back I wrote an essay about agency and how it applies to our youth. I said that as a parent, I would never force my children to go to church past a certain age. I stand by that statement, though I feel I should clarify what I meant.

1) Joshua 24:16 "Choose you this day whom ye will serve... as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

As the head of his house, Joshua made an executive decision. He set family policy-- "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." As a parent, it's important to make this distinction, to declare this in the home and to reflect it in the family rules. Those rules should come with consequences that are clearly defined and consistently applied when rules are broken. For example, in my home there will be a rule that the family goes to church together on Sundays. The family will go to bed earlier on Saturday night and wake up on time Sunday morning. From there, the choice is the children's-- go to church or stay at home with no privileges for the day (and/or week possibly) and write a page-long essay a gospel topic of my choosing by the time the family returns home. I also explain, patiently, that even though missing church now and then because they don't feel like going most likely won't damn them, that kind of mindset is the loose thread that unravels testimonies and families. In the long run, if they leave the church or go inactive they forfeit the opportunity to be part of our eternal family forever unless they repent before it's too late.

In this scenario, the rules and ramifications are clearly defined, and because I am consistent in my application of both they know that they can't expect to skip out on church or do whatever they want without some kind of repercussion.

Shockingly enough, some children will be indifferent to this-- it may be because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their family. If that is the case, why would they care either way about being with them forever? Far too many parents, both in the church and outside of it, fail to perceive the deeper yearnings of their children that go unfulfilled because they are trying to force them to be a certain way-- and then they wonder why their children resent them for it. As parents, all we can do for our children is teach them correct principles-- not just once but over and over again-- and let them govern themselves.

2) D&C 93:39-40, 50. "And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth... see that they are more diligent and concerned at home, and pray always, or they shall be removed out of their place."

Many of the early leaders of the church, including the prophet Joseph Smith, were rebuked by the Lord because their homes and families were in need of correction and were beginning to stray. If the church is the only source of gospel truth in children's lives, they are more likely to leave the tree of life. If parents are not more diligent and concerned at home, if they do not hold family scripture study, prayer, FHE, and family council, if the home is not conducive to the spirit, then heaven help the poor spiritually-hobbled children who limp (metaphorically speaking) into church and try to drink from the shallow gospel waters of Sunday School-- this is not a cheap shot aimed at Sunday school teachers, many of which I know spend hours preparing for and agonizing over their lessons, for which they are greatly blessed; I simply mean that the classroom setting, ironically enough, is not the best environment in which to learn (scientifically proven fact).

There, learning happens at a much slower pace because it is in a controlled, isolated environment, and the brain separates and compartmentalizes the two different worlds of home and church and everything associated with them. That is why many children and youth can give all the right answers at church and fail to remember to love and give service and choose the right as soon as they get home. It is much easier for the gospel to take root if it is taught in the environment in which it is to be applied.

A very backwards line of thinking I often come across is when parents neglect the gospel at home but reassure themselves by saying, "At least my kids are at church." I submit that there is nothing the church can provide, except for the ordinances of the gospel, that cannot be potentially provided with greater effectiveness at home by the family. The church is set up as a safety net for when the family fails, though it is by no means a catch-all; the family remains the most effective safety net, as it has always been.

I know the church is true; it has been a blessing in my life and has definitely helped prevent me from slipping through the cracks. It is inspired by God, that we may become perfected in Christ if we follow him. I know that families are divinely established by God for the upbringing of his children. I can't wait to have my own. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

God Will Force No Man to Heaven

A while ago one of my sisters got into an argument with my parents and another sister. The one sister has been struggling on the weekends to get up and come to church; she gets to bed late Saturday night and can't seem to make it to her 9:00 Sacrament meeting. The other sister and my parents decided to lecture her and remind her of all the negative consequences that she would incur by not coming to church. They concluded with the epithet, “The prophets have said we need to make sure our kids are where they're supposed to be.”

After she fled to her room in tears, I inserted myself into the argument in her stead against my better judgment and began to defend her. I felt my parents were wrong to get upset at her about it, and I don't really agree with the method they've used all these years trying to push us kids into going to church. So I expressed that opinion and said that I will not force my future kids to go to church or live the gospel-- too many of our youth leave the church in rebellion, not against the teachings of the church, but against the people who tried to force it on them. I do not want that for my kids. When I told my dad I wouldn't make my kids go to church beyond a certain age (I said around 12 or 13) he said, “Then you will lose them.” That's about the point where he left the room.

Later I talked to the my sister about what went on-- that's code for “I asked neutral find-out questions to figure out what was going on in her head and listened without judgment.” She expressed to me how she used to enjoy going to church and the spirit she felt when she would take the sacrament; now she takes little pleasure in going. She attributes this to two things: 1) pushy leaders who are concerned about her absence from church meetings and mutual but little else in her life; 2) poor sleeping habits that cause her to fall asleep in church and miss out on the spirit of the Sacrament. Whether these are the true reasons she chooses not to go only she knows. The point is, she already knows she should be at church, and badgering her about it won't drive home the point any more.

The prophet Joseph Smith was once asked how he was able to govern so numerous and diverse a people as the Mormons (this was during the Nauvoo period of the church); he replied, “I teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.” I believe this, from all my studies in the scripture, personal experience, and reasoning, to be a true and eternal principle, especially when it comes to raising children.

I believe the most important things parents (and youth leaders, where applicable) can do to ensure our children don't fall away from the gospel are:

1) Hold daily family prayer and scripture study. By bringing the family together to study the gospel, we teach our kids through real-life, hands-on experience how to strengthen their relationship with our Father in Heaven. In the process they learn the language of the scriptures, hear our testimonies of the gospel, and learn the Lord's will concerning them.

2) Hold family home evening and family council weekly to teach one another, spend time together as a family, and discuss important issues, both temporal and spiritual.

3) Spend one-on-one time with each child (PPI's on Sunday or throughout the week are a great time to do this) to build trust by asking questions and listening. When children know their parents care they become much more inclined to do follow their parents' advice rather than if they are compelled or coerced.

4) Give children the ability to choose whether or not they will come to church and live the gospel once they reach their teenage years. With this choice, frankly inform them not once, but frequently, of the natural consequences of their actions, good or ill; remind them what the gospel can and will do for them if they choose to live it or the opportunities they will miss if they don't. Remind them of the rules of your home and that they don't have to live there, but let them choose. This is the thing that many parents (and youth leaders) have the hardest time doing because so much hangs in the balance; many believe that if teenagers are not made to go to church they simply will not. They lack confidence in the ability and character of the youth of the church to make good decisions, so they take away their ability to do so. This was exactly what Satan proposed to do in the Pre-Mortal Existence-- to take away our ability to make wrong choices and learn from our mistakes.

It is not the calling or responsibility of parents or leaders to save all their youth; we can only love, exhort, and invite others to come unto Christ by teaching correct principles and letting them govern themselves. We should let them know that even if they stray we won't be any less loving or understanding. Anything more or less than this lies outside of the Plan of Happiness and runs great risk of pushing our youth away. Our Heavenly Father, the perfect parent, still lost 1/3 of his children despite doing all in his power to convince them to stay. He knew that others still would wander away; that is why he provided a Savior, who provided us with an Atonement and prophets to teach us of that Atonement. As the old hymn says, “God will force no man to Heaven.” But He'll do everything short of that to get us there.

Like the prodigal son who squandered his father's inheritance and then came back a humble Tigger, our children will be more likely to return, even if they stray, if they leave the parameters of the gospel with a good taste in their mouths. They will be appreciative of parents and leaders who listened to them, took the time to get to know them and their circumstances, and who, instead of pressuring and nagging them to live up to someone else's expectations, let them chart their own course in life. Our Heavenly Father gives us ample opportunity in this life to make mistakes and learn from them, or to learn from the mistakes of others; we owe our kids these same opportunities. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Investing in Eternal Families

I've been assigned another talk this week in Sacrament meeting in another ward. Here it is:

We are all members of a Heavenly family. God is the creator of our spirits, which makes him our Eternal Father and each of us brothers and sisters. Our Heavenly Father's greatest joy is us-- specifically our growth, salvation, and exaltation. He wants us to become like him in every respect-- righteous, intelligent, benevolent, honorable, and a perfect parent. He knows each of us personally and by name, and He wants us to seek a relationship with Him, for this is the key to ultimate happiness: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3). We can come to know him by centering our lives around Jesus Christ and letting the teachings of the gospel govern our thoughts, words, and actions.

The first commandment given to Adam and Eve was to “multiply, and replentish the earth” (Moses 2:28). This is not coincidence-- the entire object of our Heavenly Father's existence is to have joy in His posterity and to perpetuate the race, specifically the race of God. In Moses 1:39 we learn that God's work and glory, the whole focus of his existence, is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” In other words, our Heavenly Father is working tirelessly around the clock to make sure that we have every opportunity to come to know Him so that we can eventually qualify to raise the next generation of spirit chidren.

One of the greatest honors we can aspire to in this life is that of parenthood. Parents play a special role in the plan of salvation-- they are literally partners with God in bringing His spirit children into mortality. They also play another essential role: “'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred responsibility to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-- mothers and fathers-- will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations” (TFAPW p.6).

The whole purpose of life on earth is to prepare families for eternal life. The restored Gospel of Jesus Christ assists families in two ways:

The first way is through the sealing ordinances found in the temple. The authority to seal was given to the apostle Peter in ancient times; the Lord said to him, “whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in Heaven; and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 16:19). This authority was given to Joseph Smith in modern times by the prophet Elijah. The Lord made clear in section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants that for families to be eternal, they must be sealed by priesthood authority. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” says that “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally” (TFAPW p.5)

The second way the Gospel blesses families is through its teachings. Prophets have taught us that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded on the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreation. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (TFAPW, p.7).

On my mission, I took the opportunity to memorize “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” The parts concerning parenthood and the duties of fathers left a deep impression upon my mind because I knew that not too far down the road (hopefully) I will be a father myself. I will have many duties to perform, and I will stand before God one day to answer for the way I carry out those duties. And so will every other man or woman who brings a child into this world.

Recently I have started learning about business and investing. The most important thing I have learned is that before you invest in something, whether it be real estate, stocks, or commodities, you need to first invest time in learning about it or you're likely to lose your money. The same holds true for our families; if we want to be with them forever we need to invest time and effort in them.

I have already summed up the primary duties of fathers: preside, provide, and protect. I'd like to elaborate on these concepts:

1) Preside-- as priesthood holders, we as fathers (from hereon out I will include myself when I speak of fathers even though I have not yet reached that point) are responsible to take the lead in family events and activities. We are are responsible to teach the gospel in our homes to our families and hold events such as family home evening, family prayer and scripture study, and to spend time with each child to learn and assist them with their needs, wants, fears, hopes, dreams, and goals. We are to learn to use that priesthood to govern our families in the manner the Lord has instructed: “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood”-- meaning that our priesthood authority is not a leveraging tool to make people do what we want-- “only persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- reproving betimes with sharpness,” meaning with promptness and clarity, “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; that he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death” (D&C 121:411-44). We are to counsel with the Lord and their families, especially their wives, in all family matters.

2) Provide-- in most cases, fathers are and should be the primary breadwinner for the family. But providing for a family goes far beyond giving them room and board; it means teaching children the value of work, thrift, and sacrifice; it means establishing an environment of love, security, cleanliness, and learning. We must teach our children how to manage themselves and their time. Most of the successful people I have met have come from homes where this is the case, though others may certainly rise above their circumstances.

3) Protect-- again, protecting our families means more than keeping a handgun in the dresser for home defense. We are responsible for monitoring what our kids view on the television, the internet, on video games, and any other form of media. The most effective things we can do to protect our children from drugs, pornography, and violence are teach them the gospel in the home, develop and maintain trust with them, set a proper example, teach them of the dangers of these influences and the consequences they bring-- both those you have set and those that will naturally follow such a course of action-- and to trust them, once they are armed with this information, to make good choices. Though some will fall away, many will return, like the prodigal son, if they leave the gospel with a good taste in their mouths and knowing that the door is open should they choose to turn back.

One of my favorite stories in the Book of Mormon is that of Alma the Younger. He was a young man who rebelled against his father and the church and then had an angel appear and command him to repent. The experience drained him of his strength and he fell unconscious for several days. During that time, he saw himself for what he had become. Because he had had a father who taught the gospel in the home and lived it, he was able to latch onto those teachings at the moment of utmost need and repent. He covenanted with the Savior to forsake his sins and spend his life in the service of the Lord. This and other stories, like that of Enoch or Nephi, illustrate the powerful influence that righteous fathers have on their children. I'm grateful for my own father in that he taught me about Jesus Christ and the Atonement. When I needed to repent and change, I knew where to turn.

I would now like to say a few choice words about mothers; I have always looked to my mother as the foremost example of patience, love, devotion, listening, and sacrifice in my life. She is truly an angelic woman, and has magnified her responsibilities as a nurturer. There are also many other role models of motherhood in the scriptures; the 2,000 sons of Helaman attributed their success in battle to their faith in the things their mothers had taught them, that the Lord would deliver them out of the hands of their enemies.

Finally, I want to discuss the duties of children in preparing families for eternal life. Exodus 20:12 gives the command to “honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” But what does it really mean to “honor” our parents?

The Savior said in John 8:29, “And he that sent me is with me; the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things which please him.” He honored his Father in Heaven by his obedience to the commandments. We can also honor our parents by being obedient, by not fighting, and by becoming the very best people we can be.

I wish to close by expressing my love for my family and my gratitude for the lessons they have taught me throughout my life. You have taught me patience, service, gratitude, love, forgiveness, and hard work. I know the Savior lives, that He suffered and died so that we could be forgiven of our sins and live with our families forever if we endure to the end. I know that we have a prophet on the earth today leading us through direct revelation. I know the gospel is true and that its teachings will help us grow to know our families and our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Improving Our Time

I wanted to share a parable with you all from the New Testament: that of the talents. In Matthew chapter 25, Christ tells his disciples of a man who entrusted a certain sum of money to his servants before departing for “a far country” (Mat 25:14). This parable brilliantly captures the essence of the Plan of Salvation—let’s take a closer look at what it means for us.

Matthew 25:15 says, “And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.” The traveling man represents our Heavenly Father and we his servants; he has entrusted each of us with a certain degree of stewardship according to our abilities. Eventually each of us will stand before the Lord to give an accounting of how we spent our time in this life. Depending on how we managed ourselves, we will either lose our stewardships or receive additional responsibility. The latter is what we in the church call “Exaltation.” It is receiving greater responsibilities and more opportunities from our Father in Heaven because we’ve proven we can handle them.

The prophet Amulek provides an additional witness to this in Alma 34: “if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness, wherein there can be no labor performed” (Alma 34:34). But what does it mean to “improve our time?” I believe it means to develop self-mastery and learn to spend our time doing the things that contribute most to our salvation and happiness.

Let us look to our Father in Heaven as the supreme example of good self-management: He is the Father of numberless spirit children and yet He knows each by name, hears and answers every prayer, spoken and unspoken, and keeps meticulous track of their every thought, word and deed. He is the architect of worlds without number and the author of the Plan of Salvation. What is the secret to His success? It is the ability to focus on what is most important and to delegate, to share his responsibilities with others. Through a flawless network of prophets, angels, the Holy Ghost, and other inspired messengers, the Lord accomplishes His great purposes and communicates His will to the children of men. His is a life of focus, balance, and joy.

Focus and balance are essential to the life of the disciple. We are required to be in the world but not of the world, to provide for our temporal needs while living up to our covenants and sharing the gospel with others. There are numerous scriptural and secular helps to assist us in doing so. One which I would like to go over in detail from a gospel perspective is called the Productivity Pyramid, a model used by the Franklin-Covey company to help teach people the skills, habits, and mindset necessary to achieve their highest priorities. It has four levels—for the base we have our Governing Values; above that is Goal-Setting; moving further up is Weekly Planning; and at the top is Daily Planning.

Our Governing Values are our core beliefs, ideals, and highest priorities and should define everything we think, say, and do. The principals of the Gospel of Jesus Christ provide a template for sound governing values—developing our talents, pursuing greater knowledge, striving for improved personal righteousness, and so forth—as the prophet Helaman told his sons, “Remember, remember, that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation” (Hel 5:12).

Once we have defined our own personal Governing Values, we can move up the pyramid to the next level: Goal-Setting. A goal is defined as an accomplishment with a deadline. It is made up of a series of smaller steps, also with deadlines, that culminate in the eventual realization of the goal. Concerning goal-setting, Elder Ballard stated, “I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in life” (PMG, 146).

We should set goals to develop Christ-like attributes. The apostle Peter admonished, “Add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Pet 1:5-8).

Our goals reflect our Governing Values and are the focus of the next level up on the pyramid: Weekly Planning. On my mission I learned the importance of setting aside time each week with my companions to prayerfully reflect on our goals and figure out what needed to be done on a daily basis to achieve them; on the weeks we didn’t do so our efforts were more scattered and disorganized, and as a result the work suffered. Planning weekly is perhaps the single most important thing we can do to achieve balance. As a missionary, the weekly planning session lasted two hours; as regular people, however, we should spend about 30 minutes each week going over upcoming deadlines, obligations, and appointments and focusing our efforts on our goals.

The last key to achieving balance is the Daily Planning session. Ten to twenty minutes each day, whether in the morning or at night, helps us to focus our efforts on the most important tasks at hand. Preach My Gospel gives several pointers to help us plan more effectively (PMG, 150-151):

• Have a meaningful activity planned for every hour of the day.
• Accept full responsibility for your efforts. Never blame others for difficult circumstances or lack of progress.
• In your prayer at the end of the day, give an accounting of your work.

Following these patterns of self-mastery should be the pursuit of a lifetime. As we focus on what is most important we will find that our satisfaction, our confidence, and our ability to influence others for good will increase. Our relationships will bring us more fulfillment and our labors greater rewards. Our love for the Savior and His Atonement will grow, and our sensitivity to the whisperings of the Spirit will be sharpened. Of this I bear witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Final Report

My mission president required a final report from each departing missionary. These reports were to include lessons learned, our precious experiences with the Spirit, and stories of the people we taught. Here's mine.

To Know God and Jesus

John 17:3—“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” It is clear that in order to have a fullness of joy, our understanding of the gospel must exceed a mere understanding of the principals we study and teach. It is good to be able to list off God’s titles, his works, and his character traits, but it is not enough. To know God is to have spiritual intimacy with him. Intimacy is love compounded with trust; it is a two-way street, and it is the key to becoming a self-driven missionary. Over the course of the last two years, I have developed an inkling of this kind of intimacy in several different ways:

1. Forgiveness and cleansing of sins through the Atonement. Before my mission I was screwed up. Like, bad. But through the miraculous gift of repentance I overcame my addictions and tasted the fruit of the tree of life. It was beyond description, the most remarkable thing I have experienced in my entire life. Through the Atonement, I have felt the forgiveness, cleansing, and strengthening that came by the Holy Ghost when my desires to serve God finally caught up with the covenants I had made at my baptism eleven years earlier. I have learned to be merciful and patient with others’ weaknesses just as the Savior does. And I have forgiven myself for who I was before. I love my Savior because of the gift he has given me, and like the sons of Mosiah I will forever be grateful and live my life to serve him: “Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yeah, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble. And thus did the Spirit of the Lord work upon them, for they were the very vilest of sinners. And the Lord saw fit in his infinite mercy to spare them” (Mosiah 28:3-4).

In a way that is as ironic as it is sublime, some of the most sincere, spiritual people I have met on my mission are people who messed up in serious ways but later repented. They love Jesus Christ, more than most of the members I knew back home who never committed any serious transgressions, because of the gift he gave to them. They’ve felt the healing and know with all that is in them that the gospel is true and tangible. I’ve learned to love them for how far they’ve come rather than judge them for their weaknesses—for who among us is truly without sin?

2. Healing and consolation through the Atonement. For those who are not guilty of grievous sins and therefore do not need forgiveness to the extent that others do there is still the chance to feel the love of God through the Atonement. Christ suffered everything that we ever have or ever will so that He could know us. He understands the trials we undergo as we take upon us the burden to share the gospel to a world weary with sin. In moments of calm and solitude, when I looked back on the day’s labors only to realize I had fallen short of what my Savior, my leaders, and I expected of me, I would sorrow as Nephi did. I have since come to understand that the Atonement applies to missionaries as well as investigators, that when I feel discouraged or doubt myself I can turn to the Lord with a broken heart and have it mended. I believe I have learned what the Savior meant when he said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30)

3. Exact obedience. The happiest times on my mission were also the most obedient. Have you ever tried to go just an hour without breaking one of the mission rules? A day? A transfer? If the Savior were a WA-TAC missionary, he would be exactly obedient. That is how he conducted his entire life. He did not sin, ever. It was a tremendous feat of discipline and love. He lived a life of consecration and exact obedience so that he would be worthy to suffer for our sins at the end. No missionary, however good at finding, teaching, and baptizing they think they are, can come to know the Savior without striving for obedience. That is the price we pay.

4. Receiving personal revelation. The Lord is interested in our lives—I know this to be true because He gives me direction daily. Much of it pertains to missionary work; a great deal is for after my mission—what school I should attend, what career to pursue, how to raise my children. Some of this comes through my study of the scriptures, to be sure, but most of it has come through pondering and as a result of my willingness to work. As President Uchtdorf put it this last General Conference, “The greatest answers to prayer usually come on our feet, not our knees.” As I have put forth the effort to find, the Lord has put people in my path who are ready to hear. Revelation is what sets us apart as a church and as a mission. What are we doing to receive it?

Becoming a Chosen Missionary

It took me a long time, somewhere around 18 months, before I came to an understanding of what it means to be a consecrated missionary. It happened when I was serving in the office with Elder Draper. We had the opportunity to take a group of dying missionaries to the temple for their PPI with the Lord. That final trip to the temple is a sacred experience in which each WA-TAC missionary has the opportunity to give accounting before God and find out whether or not their sacrifice of two years was acceptable to our Father in Heaven. My greatest fear was that when my time came I would feel the Lord’s disappointment with my work. I felt like up to that point I had not been the missionary I was intended to be.

After a lot of prayerful consideration, I went to the temple with this question: What defines a missionary’s sacrifice as acceptable before the Lord? The answer came in the form of more questions: 1) What have I done to change the lives of others and built the Kingdom of God; 2) How has my testimony of the Savior increased and how has my outlook on the Gospel of Jesus Christ been enhanced; 3) What habits and skills have I developed that will help me to be a better husband, father, and leader in the church after I get home? I gave this a lot of thought and was pleasantly surprised when I realized it wasn’t as bad as I had originally suspected. However, I knew there was plenty of room for improvement. I held a personal inventory and made a promise to the Lord that I would step it up for the rest of my mission by doing and becoming what He expects of me. My focus changed completely and I fixed everything on the work. I set a goal to baptize at least one person each month for the rest of my mission, a goal which, though I did not meet entirely, I met numerically and spiritually through obedience and hard work.

I’ve reflected again and again on that decision. I feel like it was the first step to becoming a chosen missionary, not only called to the field but chosen by God and trusted with an important stewardship. The chosen missionary multiplies their talent and gives it back to the Lord with interest. That is what I strive for daily, though I all too often miss the mark. Because of the Atonement, I can look back on many of the mistakes I made before and on my mission and see them as stepping stones to success.

It is never too late to become a chosen missionary, no matter where you are in your mission or how short you may have fallen in your work. After Martin Harris lost the manuscript for the first 119 pages of the Book of Mormon, the Lord chastised Joseph Smith and gave him a second chance: “But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work” (D&C 3:10). I testify of the power of the Atonement in missionary work. Weakness is greatness in the making if we trust the Lord.

The Power of the Spirit in Teaching

Those who know me well know that I never left Yelm completely, not in spirit. I served there with Elder Romney during my third and fourth transfers and loved it more than any other area I served in before or since. Though we were on bike and the cold snap in November 2009 almost killed us, we experienced the most success that I have seen on my mission outside of a zone leader companionship. It was in Yelm, during a lesson with one of our investigators, Antwoine Smith, that I learned just how powerful a role the Holy Ghost can play in teaching the gospel.

Antwoine Smith lived in Renton, but he came down weekly to visit with his fiancé, a member of the Yelm Ward. He was very eager to learn, but we just could not get him to commit to baptism. Elder Romney and I went over one night to teach him and try once again to get him on date. Our efforts were backfiring. We were desperate, and we didn’t know what to do. With prayers in our hearts, we got the idea to direct Antwoine to the fourteenth chapter of Matthew. We discussed the story of Christ walking on water and of Peter exercising faith to let go of the boat, take a step into the unknown, and go to the master. When Peter began to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” A period of silence followed, and Antwoine consented to be baptized. He told us the reason he was so hesitant to be baptized was his fear of going under the water. When he heard of Jesus reaching out to save Peter from drowning, it instilled in him enough courage to follow the Savior. If the Spirit had not come to our rescue in that hour of need we likely would have never been able to resolve Antwoine’s root concern. We didn’t know what he needed, but the Lord did, and He made up for our weakness and inexperience by giving us the solution to Antwoine’s concern. “Therefore, verily I say unto you, lift up your voices unto this people; speak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts, and you shall not be confounded before men; for it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say” (D&C 100:5-6).

The Lord Prepares People to Receive the Gospel

I must have been the most clueless greenie ever to set foot in the WA-TAC. Naturally I was terrified when my trainers sent me on a tracting split with one of the priests from our ward. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but we had faith (well, maybe just hope) that we could find someone. With my heart in my throat, I knocked on the door of Gary Arndt, who poked his head out and told us to come back the next day. When we returned, it turned out that he had met with missionaries in the past in Lakewood before he moved to Spanaway. He accepted the baptismal commitment on our second lesson and became the first person I baptized on my mission.

A year later in Lakewood, after what I affectionately refer to as a “Black Hole Day” because nothing went right, Elder Marr, Elder Palmer, Elder Bartlett, and I were in the car picking our brains for something we could do to find someone. A rough-looking man with tattoos and a handlebar mustache was passing by, so we rolled down the window to talk to him. Our invitation was simple: “Do you want to check out our church?” He answered in the affirmative, which caught us off guard, but we recovered quickly and brought him to the church the next day or so.

This man, Skip Day, was one of the most sincere people I have ever been privileged to teach. He was living out of a camper trailer on the side of the road that was hours away from being impounded. Through divine intervention, we were able to find him a place to stay temporarily so he could get back on his feet. The Lord worked one miracle after another and after his first Sunday at church, a powerful Fast and Testimony meeting, Skip broke down and set his heart upon baptism, which he obtained a few weeks after I left Lakewood.

I know the Lord is preparing people every day in each of our areas. I have a testimony of the power of ministering angels and the preparatory work they do.

One Church—the Members Really Are the Means

Lacey 3^rd & 6th: one of my favorite areas. Elder Davis and I butted heads a bit at the beginning before we figured out how to work well together. By the second or third week we hit our stride as we made obedience our creed and One Church our focus. We worked very closely with 3^rd ward, visiting as many less-actives as we could and getting fellowship at all of our lessons. We had a recent convert, Sister Sutherland, who kept giving us referrals. We had the trust of the ward, and as a result, we got stuff done. We had two baptisms that transfer—both member referrals.

One of those was Chelsea Bopp, a girl who had performed in a musical with several members of the church. They took the leap of faith and shared their testimonies with her. The result? She identified with the church’s beliefs and the young women’s values and consented to come on a church tour. We hardly had to teach her at all; she had so much fellowship outside of our lessons that her concerns were resolved without us. Within a few weeks, she was baptized. It was a glorious occasion.

Nearly a year prior to that, I served in the blessed land of Yelm with Elder Romney. Though perhaps the most taxing three months of my mission, it was, in my opinion, the most successful and brought me the most satisfaction of any time in Washington. Three months of driving rain, cycling, and trying to find my way as a new missionary in a new area with a companion who was no more experienced than I was provided a solid base of faith and hard work that instilled in me a degree of confidence that I had never before experienced. I developed a great love for the ward and for the people we were teaching, and as a result we had three baptisms from member referrals. Part of me died when I got the fateful call to leave. My experience was, to me, the greatest testimony of One Church and the power of member work.

The Book of Mormon—the Lord’s Silver Bullet

I love the Book of Mormon. I read it in seminary; I read it after high school and five times over the course of my mission. I attribute my conversion almost exclusively to that book and its teachings. The first time I prayed with real intent to know it was true, I felt the Spirit tell me to talk to my Bishop and make changes in my life so that I could serve a mission. It was a painful process, but it was so rewarding, and through the whole process the Book of Mormon was there to give me comfort, guidance, and support. From the examples of righteous men found within its pages I have caught a vision of the kind of husband, father, and leader I want to be. I am grateful for those who labored and sacrificed to bring it about, whose tears and prayers were heard by a God who loved us enough to give us direction in our day. I am grateful for the blood that was shed in these last days to bring it to fruition.

I am not the only one who can attest to its truthfulness. I have seen many lives changed by the plain and precious truths it contains. In Yelm, while helping a sister named Dauna O’Leary become active in the church again, I watched her change from a skeptic to a die-hard follower of the Savior. Her faith, when we began teaching, was small but growing at an exponential rate. The Book of Mormon brought Christ into her life and the Spirit into her heart and home. I was able to baptize her younger son, O’Ryan, before I left and to return to Lacey a year later to watch her older son, Ammon, enter the waters of baptism.

On another occasion, while tracting with Elder Cook in Tacoma one evening, we met a young man from Vietnam named Lam Nguyen. Though he was only about 18, he was the primary bread winner for his family working as a roofer. His English was only slightly better than our Vietnamese, but we managed to get him on a church tour nevertheless. It became clear to us that the language barrier could pose a big problem in teaching him, so we asked the Lord for inspiration and gave him a Vietnamese Book of Mormon. Over the next few weeks we taught him the Restoration, Plan of Salvation, and Gospel of Jesus Christ from the Book of Mormon, praying that the Spirit would speak to his soul and convey the truthfulness of our message. The result? He progressed quickly, far more so than we could have anticipated. By the time we taught him commandments, he had a solid testimony of the Book of Mormon and took a pay cut so that he could get Sundays off work. He was baptized shortly after we met him. His conversion was a great testimony to me of the power of the Book of Mormon in missionary work and personal conversion. Truly the Lord has prepared it for our day to facilitate the rolling forth of His work.

Conclusion

The last two years have been a remarkable, joyous part of my life. I know with a surety the truth of the message we bear. As I have struggled to align my will with the Lord’s by putting His work first and preparing myself to be a more polished instrument in His hand, I have seen miracles and success like I never could have imagined. I have come to love the Lord as never before as I have learned to love His children. I hardly resemble the scared, tactless greenie who left home two years ago (thank goodness). I am ready to return to the Utah, Ogden Mission and use the skills I have gained in the WA-TAC to strengthen whatever stake of Zion in which I happen to find myself. I am ready to be reunited with my family and to take a long nap. But I will dearly miss you all, and a piece of my heart will ever dwell in the Washington Tacoma Mission.

“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God… and if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me” (D&C 18: 10, 15-16). Elders and Sisters, my joy is full. May God continue to bless you in your labors as you consecrate yourselves to this work, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Procrastination of Happiness

The world in which we live is a challenging place, especially for those trying to raise families in love and righteousness-- but it is also full of opportunities for work, innovation, and learning, more so than ever before. Yet many people fail to achieve happiness, even in these favorable circumstances. I often hear people say things like, “Man, I sure wish Jesus would get here quicker,” or “I can't wait until the Rapture.” Such comments both amuse and depress me; I believe they spring from a mindset of resignation and complacency. They are the desperate yearnings people who have lost hope that they can make a difference and believe that only God can solve their problems now.

This mindset is not limited to the religious; many people depend upon government, money, or retirement to bring them happiness. They say, “When I have this or that, I'll be happy,” as if happiness was dependent upon external factors. While these factors can contribute to overall well-being and amplify happiness that already exists, they cannot create it. Waiting for someone or something to fix our problems is the procrastination of happiness, and it is a form of being acted upon, of surrendering our agency to an uncertain future. It is not productive, and it is not in alignment with God's Plan of Happiness. In the end, the Lord has said that after the final judgment, “He that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still” (Mormon 9:14).

I cannot help but think of Isaiah, who described the mission of John the Baptist as, “The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God” (Isaiah 40:3). As members of the church, our job is not to hold out against the tides of evil in the world until Christ comes again; our task is to prepare the world for his coming so that Zion, or at least the foundation, will already be built by the time he arrives.

We prepare by the choices we make every day-- what we think, how we spend our time and money, what we teach our children through our words and actions, and the example we set for others. In the end, happiness is an inward condition, a lifestyle of balance, productivity, and intimacy with God and our loved ones.

Following Christ's resurrection and visit to the Americas, the people of Nephi learned how to live after the manner of happiness: “And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.

“And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the Hand of God” (4 Nephi 1:15-16).

I testify that as we learn to depend less upon our circumstances and more upon living the gospel, we will have a greater amount of peace, satisfaction, and happiness in our lives until we receive a fulness of joy, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Stewards, Heirs, and Rulers

From the beginning our Heavenly Father has been looking for goods stewards. The end goal of the Plan of Salvation is to prove the children of men to see if they can be trusted with raising His grandchildren and receiving exaltation. In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus gives the parable of the talents. These verses brilliantly capture the essence of the Plan of Salvation: a man entrusts his servants (us, his children) with varying degrees of stewardship, according to their abilities. The first two servants are proactive and end up increasing that which was given to them-- doubling it, in fact. To both of them, the master gives an identical response: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

The other servant chose instead to neglect his stewardship. In fact, he buried it in the earth so that he wouldn't have to think about it until his master returned to reclaim what was his. His lazy indifference and hollow excuses were met by the wrath of his master-- at the very least he could have deposited the money in a bank so that there would be interest on the principal. But he had nothing to show for the time and opportunities that had been bestowed upon him. He was thereafter relieved of his stewardship.

Here on earth, we are given many chances to prove ourselves. All too often, we fall short of the mark. Because of the Atonement, we can receive additional chances to prove ourselves. But, counsels the prophet Alma, “If we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness, wherein there can be no labor performed” (Alma 32:33). God expects improvement-- increase-- and if we fail to receive the light (meaning to accept and build upon the truths we have) we stand condemned before the lord (see D&C 93:31-32). We will wait in darkness and restless agony in the spirit world until the resurrection and judgment (see Alma 40:13-14). There the Lord will require from us an accounting of our stewardships.

God does not simply want us to return to live with him-- we were already there in the pre-mortal existence. Satan's offer was to have us all return to Heaven-- Jesus Christ offered us the chance to return with interest. Only to those who receive the Light of Christ and magnify it by the way they live can receive the source of that light (See D&C 84:36-39). In the church we are blessed with abundant opportunities to serve and provide God with an increase.

Many have misconstrued this concept to say that Latter-Day Saints believe that we earn grace, that we earn exaltation and thrones, dominions, kingdoms, etc. Let me be clear in saying that we cannot earn those things because, let's just face it, none of us are good enough. But every blessing from God is conditional upon obedience to the eternal law to which the blessing is affixed (See D&C 130:20-21), which means we need to exert every effort to meet the conditions which God has set for our redemption.

Concerning the idea of earning grace through our own works, King Benjamin, a great Book of Mormon prophet, said this: “I say unto you, that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath... with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants. And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments... for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted to him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?” (Mosiah 2:20-25).

Salvation and exaltation come as a result of our meeting God's requirements-- the Atonemnt raises us to the level of the bar and allows us the chance to meet those conditions. Because of the Atonement we can have the chance to be “heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if it so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together” (Romans 8:16-17). Heirs inherit-- and rule-- servants labor and abase themselves. I testify that we are God's children and we can all be heirs of God's kingdom through the Atonement-- but first we have to be servants and let God prove us in his absence, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.